There are some days when I can't help feeling like Fluffy.

Yes, I mean the three headed dog guarding the inner sanctums of Hogwarts. Three heads does kind of short change how many hats I wear on a daily basis but Fluffy is much cuter than the Hydra so three heads will suffice. Each of these heads, though they can work with each other do have a life of their own. Each one can be individually leashed and tethered to something or someone. When they all yank at once, it is not only restricting but painful. That has been happening a lot lately.

Fluffy and I also share the ability to become docile when listening to music. It is my mood breaker and a catharsis.

Being a guard dog to the important secrets and protecting it at all costs, yup Fluffy's got nothing on me there. He only had to guard the Sorcerer's stone...Me, I have a vault of secrets that most be guarded from a plethora of people.

We both have black hair too, well fur in his case.

So there it is, lately I have been feeling like a grumpy three headed dog.

On another note, I have come to a realization. I would take the health and happiness of my children over money any day. My friend who has been having issues with her children(so bad she just sent one off to the wilderness in one of those programs) seems to keep having money land in her lap. Now she never gets money with out some kind of tragedy befalling her but when I say money I am talking over six figures. An acquaintance said " Well at least the money must be a comfort." I am sorry but no amount of money is worth the loss of love and the pain and anguish of having three children who all require therapy on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. I am much happier scrounging for money, with happy healthy children.

To say my life has been choatic would not be absolutely correct. It has been frenzied. Mimicking a shark feeding frenzy, everything keeps coming in rapid succession. From one day to the next, I have no idea what drama will unfold. I sometimes think that I have woken up in some real life formulamatic Asian drama. Every day brings new twists and turns to age old plot drivers like betrayal...illness...family turmoil and suicide.

Since last year my best friend has lost her house to a fire, her mother, her husbands grandmother and her brother is dying of cancer with no treatments, experimental or otherwise left. I would jump in front of a bullet for her but helping her cope is becoming a full time job. I don't mind doing it and am happy I can but it does add to the busy life of a mom of 4. Maybe if that was the only drama in my life it wouldn't feel so emotional harried.

My other really good friend found out her husband was lying to her and betraying her trust. She kicked him out. Once she did that she needed help taking care of the 4 kids they have together. She is new to her law firm and can only take so much time off. From picking up sick kids from school to making dinners, I am honored that she would entrust me with their well being.However yet again my day got a little more frenzied.

I would pause here just to use the cliche and say...And the hits just keep on coming.

My husband's uncle, who is also our accountant had a stroke. I am all about family so I had no problem volunteering to help with meals and such. Again glad I can truly be of help but beginning to feel like the Jenga pieces that are my life might be stacking too high and teetering a little too much.

Then in one week, there was a suicide attempt made by a friend, the purchase, illness and death of the puppy and Passover. Now one might think, holiday respite for Passover. What most people don't know is that since I am religious, my house has to be devoid of all leavened bread. Yup, cleaned top to bottom, all the bready stuff packed away for the holiday and a surfeit of other meshuganah things.

Side note:
I am not what one would consider your typical religious woman. I actively fight for equality especially for the LGBT community. I love listening to to whatever music moves me. I can dance as if I get paid for it and I don't mean commercial dancing(Even though I am trained). I am a sci fi geek with a penchant for the occult. I can differentiate between sex and love. I basically am the personification of a contradiction.

Back to my life in ludicrous speed... All this also does not account for my usual role of referee and Switzerland in my nuclear family of my 5 sisters and one brother. I thank G-d every day for skype so I can either encourage, admonish or cajole in real time. The odd and possibly sad thing is that I still know I am blessed because I have happy healthy and wonderful children and all of these problems are manageable. They are just occasionally a little much to bear alone. That being said, it has just been so hectic that I have been hard pressed to do the things I love like writing, reading and plurking.

Forgive a minute while I wax on my love for Plurk. I can't thank my plurk friends enough for the daily encouragement I get from them. You have giving me the forum to be the 100% unadulterated, uncensored version of me. I can be brazen, bawdy and occasionally just geek out and I am accepted, wholeheartedly. Not is not the usual for me. Outside of my core group of friends, most people see sides of me. Being atypical has always made it hard to find a niche in my extended social circle but I am so glad I have found that with Plurk.


Fueled by lack of sleep I may have prattled on, lost topic and such but you get the idea. My life is a crazy and even though I can't be on as much as I like, plurky people get me through my day. To them I leave this ode:

They are a haven in the maelstrom called your life.
A stopper in your bottle of emotions.
The first keystone in your wall of confidence.
A torch which leads your heart home.
A crutch when your pride is wounded.
Armor and shield on the battlefield of love.
They are the dam for your flash flood of anger.
A bright sun in the gray skies of sadness.
Often becoming a teacher that guides you.
Playing the clown who brings a smile to your face.
Talking you off of the ledge.
Pulling you out of the rain.
They are your friends